dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
