Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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