I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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