last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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