the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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