Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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