i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
