Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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