I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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