he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
