There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
