Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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