one might say we're banned from that church
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
