someone owes me an orgasm
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
