Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You pole danced in your parka.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
