Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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