I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
