True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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