I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
