so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
