Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
