Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
