i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
