I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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