Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
