im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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