Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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