There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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