there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
