...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
