Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize