he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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