can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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