I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just cropdusted the office
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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