Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
