do herpes really smell.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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