what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
