$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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