Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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