My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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