I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
