In the future we'll all be gay
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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