woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
