I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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