How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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