My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
