You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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