I must be too annoying 4 u.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize