Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
