Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
