I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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