I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
