My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
