Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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