it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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