thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
