I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
