yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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