i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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