She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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