if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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