i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
